Why is it that every time something really awesome happens to me, you have to try and top it with about 6 lesser-awesome, but cumulatively make up one awesome-r moment about you? Just let me be excited! Don’t try and rain on my parade, live it up with me! Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?

I mean the reason he doesn’t have one in the first place is because he totaled his van…that should show me something…right?

God damnit.

I’m too nice.

I really wish I was plain looking…not hideously ugly or anything. Just…plain; like a wallflower. I like to people watch, I like to fly under the radar, and I really dislike being the center of attention.

However, there’s something I despise…it goes beyond dislike…but I absolutely loathe getting hit on. You know, sometimes it would just be nice to just have a friendly conversation with someone, and not have the goal to be getting into my pants. Yes, I get it…I’m pretty…I hear it a lot; and I’m not trying to be all obnoxious or “oooh notice me notice me.” No. Not. At. All. I actually would prefer to be unnoticed…I would prefer to be a fly on the wall that nobody notices.

I honestly think I would be perfectly fine with that.

Yes, being pretty has its perks…but not always. People are intimidated…I went almost my whole life thinking people just didn’t like me, until one day someone was telling me how they were always too scared to talk to me. I’M NOT A FUCKING MONSTER! I love people! I love talking to people! I love making friends! I’m a modest person…I still to this day don’t fully believe that I’m as pretty as people say I am, and I don’t think I ever will; but I don’t care. I’m more than a pretty face…I’ve got an actual personality, people!

I don’t really know the point of it…but after tonight I just feel like ranting. I was with my friends having a nice little get-together at Denny’s, and the waiter was too preoccupied flirting with me to do his fucking job. Seriously? Uh, hello…I’ve been waiting for my drink for 15 minutes…stop giving me “the eye” and do your fucking job and get me water!

Well I guess maybe I’ll just make a point. Or maybe a couple…

Anyways…point number one! Don’t be afraid to talk to people because of how they look. They could look like the bitchiest person in the world, but be the nicest; they could be the ugliest person ever, but be the most interesting individual you’ll ever meet; they could be intimidatingly pretty, but really have extremely low self-esteem and are just looking for a good friend.

Point number two: GIRLS DON’T LIKE TO BE CONSTANTLY HIT ON! It’s just not cool, bro! If a girl is obviously not responding to your advances, leave it alone and walk the fuck away; otherwise, she’ll just end up getting annoyed and disliking you even more, and you can wave goodbye to your chance of ever getting some ass.

Point number three: don’t make your life goal to be getting laid. It’s sleazy and gross and how you get STD’s. Try having an actual conversation with a girl with no hidden agendas; that definitely just might work in your favor.

Finally, point number four: platonic friendships are not as horrible as people make them out to be! The only real platonic friend I have is my best friend. We met when we were set up on a blind date, but it backfired and we’ve just been best friends ever since. Sure, there may be attraction, but we don’t let it get in the way of our friendship. We recognize that we’re each good-looking to each other, but we don’t try to jump each others’ bones every time we’re together. It’s nice to just have a friend that’s just a friend…I’m just sayin’.